


sad beautiful tragic

by starlightandseaglass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Harry Potter Next Generation, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:42:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7436677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightandseaglass/pseuds/starlightandseaglass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the story of the potter children (they fall apart, one by one).</p>
            </blockquote>





	sad beautiful tragic

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the Taylor Swift song of the same name. Cross-posted to Fanfiction.net under the name starlightandseaglass.

first, JAY

sorry, I mean **James Sirius**

_(Potter, don’t forget Potter)_

the shy, quiet dreamer boy with his nose in a book and his head in the clouds

his imagination runs wild

 

but then reality sets in

when _Molly_ plays a prank

**James** gets blamed for it

_(“James Sirius Potter, how dare you turn your cousin’s hair green!”)_

he doesn’t understand

_(he wouldn’t do that)_

“it’s in your blood kid,” Teddy says

**James** (brave and funny)

_Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

**_Potter_ ** (great and famous and _perfect_ )

_(don’t you see James? they’re always gonna think it’s you)_

 

and the poor **confused** _little_ boy

just wants to make _you_ happy

so he tries to be

**James** (brave and funny)

and _Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

and a   ** _Potter_** _(how can he live up to that?)_

 

he ends up in **GRYFFINDOR**

_(wouldn’t want to be the first Weasley-Potter in Ravenclaw, would he?)_

because that’s who he thinks _you_ want him to be

loud mischievous **GRYFFINDOR** James Potter

(not shy witty _Ravenclaw_ JAY)

and he doesn’t understand why you’re disappointed

_(this is who you wanted him to be, isn’t it?)_

 

and somewhere along the way he loses himself

_(witty creative Ravenclaw Jay slowly blinks out of existence)_

he stops writing, scared that someone might find out

_(scared to disappoint **you** )_

he tries to be better

(but what do you want? better grades, or better **pranks**? _)_

_(he never really knows)_

he takes solace in the few minutes he can use to sneak away to the library

and lose himself in books

 

(he meets **_her_** there, and for the first time in his life, he can actually be himself)

 

with _her_ , he’s not **James Sirius Potter** , Harry Potter’s son and GRYFFINDOR prankster extraordinaire

he’s JAY, the quiet creative boy who just wants to write

with him, she’s not **Annalisa Zabini** , cold stoic arrogant SLYTHERIN

she’s ANNIE, the shy witty girl who should have been a Ravenclaw

_(just like him)_

she lives in storybooks like he does his writing

and slowly they start to put themselves back together

(he hadn’t even realized he’d    _s h a t t e r e d_ )

_(did you?)_

 

he graduates with top marks

(“he must have cheated,” you whisper when he’s not around)

_(he couldn’t possibly be anything more than a prankster, could he?)_

he’s marrying her, he tells you two weeks after graduation

_(he’s too young_ and _he’s too irresponsible_ and _why a Zabini?_ echo through your minds _)_

 he sees your disappointment and leaves without another word

_(you don’t know what’s happened to him until Teddy gives you a book with his picture on the back)_

_(the author’s name is_ JAY ZABINI _)_

 

he’s not **JAMES** (brave and funny)

or _Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

or a **_Potter_** _(not anymore)_

 

**_(strike 1)_ **

 

…

 

next is AL

or **_Albus_** , rather ** _, Albus Severus Potter_**

_(the perfect child)_

he’s not mischievous like **James** or  rebellious like _Lily_

not too studious or too wild

friendly, popular, intelligent, talented

the **golden** child of the **golden** boy

_(he’s the one everyone comments on, the one everyone expects to do great things)_

_(to be just like **you** )_

 

and **maybe** he’s not as _perfect_ as you think, but he’d never let it show

**maybe** he should have been a SLYTHERIN

_(and you told him you wouldn’t care if he had been, but you would have)_

_(he saw how you reacted to Lily’s sorting)_

so he doesn’t say **anything**

just _smiles_ and _laughs_ and is

PERFECT

 

but then he starts to   c r a c k

 

and just like **that** he _falls apart_

 

you find him **dead** in his room two months after graduation

everyone wonders _why_

 but you know

_(sorry I’m not perfect)_

****

**_(strike 2)_ **

****

…

 

and finally, LILA

(don’t you dare call her **Lily Luna** , she’s not your pretty little flower anymore)

_(she’s not a **Potter** anymore either)_

 

_Lily_ was always the  rebellious one

the one you could never quite **control**

but you _never_ expected her to be a SLYTHERIN

 

you’re _horrified_ but she’s unapologetic

you decide that it’s just **teenage rebellion**

by 15 she’s all _parties_ and **boys** and  short skirts

you try to stop her but it just fuels her fire

_(“what are we going to do with her?” you ask, when it’s 3am and she’s still not home from a date)_

**_(you don’t have an answer)_ **

 

**James** leaves three weeks before Lily turns 16

and she spends the rest of the summer _drinking_ at muggle clubs

_(“my name’s Lila,” she declares one morning, with mascara smeared under her eyes and looking like she hasn’t slept in days)_

**(you ask why and she says something about a boy)**

you try to remind yourself that it’s just teenage rebellion

_(isn’t it?)_

 

she’s the one who finds Albus

**dead**

and it drives her over the edge

_(did you even notice?)_

she leaves home three days later, moves in with a SLYTHERIN friend

_(did you notice then?)_

the next time you see her is Christmas vacation

_(“Lily, where have you been? we’ve been worried sick!)_

she’s still all _parties_ and  short skirts

but this time, there’s something **different** about her

 

you find the baby clothes in a box on her dresser

when you ask, she doesn’t even deny that they’re hers

_(“how could you?” you ask)_

_( **what you mean is “how could you do this to us?”)**_

she tries to explain but

_you_ don’t **listen**

_(“do you even know who the father is?”)_

she leaves in tears but you know she’ll be back soon

_(where else could she go?)_

only she doesn’t come home

_(you don’t know if you’ll ever see her again)_

 

three years later you’re at Rose’s wedding

and there she is

_(bright, smiling, with a little blonde girl clutching her hand and a ring on her finger)_

and you want to say something, but what?

**(she doesn’t need you anymore)**

a blonde man approaches her, hands her a drink

and you spot a matching ring on his finger

_(your daughter is a Malfoy now)_

**_Scorpius_** picks up  Lily’s daughter, spinning her around

**(“Daddy!”)**

_(your granddaughter is a Malfoy too)_

 

you move towards her

_(say something, do something, your mind screams)_

**(you can’t lose her)**

but Draco Malfoy and his wife reach Lily first and she hugs them, beaming

_you stop and stare_

**(even Malfoy is closer to your daughter than you)**

and you finally realize you’ve already lost her

 

you’ve lost all three of them now

**(James – you never knew him, never tried until it was too late. now he’s gone)**

(Albus – too perfect, you didn’t know he was cracking until he shattered. he’s gone too)

_(and Lily – the wild child, now with a family of her own, happy. she’s lost to you forever)_

**_(why? you ask, but it’s too late)_ **

when people ask, you’ll blame **insecurity** , depression, _rebellion_

but you know it’s your fault

 ( _even your own kids can’t live up to your legacy, Chosen One)_

and you want to do something, to fix something

**but it’s too late**

you’ve lost them all now

_and not even you, Harry Potter, can get them back now_

****

**_(strike 3)_ **


End file.
